Nothing Quite 'Wonderful' in Wonderland
by vivalamoi5543
Summary: Kurt and Blaine both individually suffer with strange disorders that make their lives hard, after a chance meeting at their new highschool, how will they help each other cope? Alice in wonderland syndrome, tourette syndrome, OCD, bipolar disorder.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a story I wrote based on all of my personal experiences with these disorders, if you have different experience with any of them, feel free to let me know and I'll try to use it. (Also this is me just a liiiittle but making fun of Darren's spastic head motions.) Glee and everything from it belongs to Ryan Murphy.**

* * *

><p>Kurt:<p>

I sighed as I fiddled with the small orange pill container on the table in front of me. First of all no, I'm not going to try to kill myself. These pills are to help, to make it stop, to put barricades and barriers to suppress my mind, to suppress the furniture in my room that grows and shrinks without my permission. My name is Kurt Hummel, and I need these pills. When I was five years old I was diagnosed with OCD (not really a big deal I guess, lots of people have that), and AIWS, or 'Alice in Wonderland Syndrome'. Yes, that's real, very real, and it feels like being completely insane.

I'm really not one to complain though; I don't bother others with my problems, which sometimes makes it worse. Like right now. My problems get worse with stress an anxiety, things such as going to a new private school tomorrow, which of course I will be doing. Oh, and remember the pill container? It's empty. I need to tell my father to refill it, but I don't think I can. He doesn't like that I need to take pills, they're expensive and he just wants me to be normal. I'm only going to this school because I received a scholarship. My father doesn't get angry, just….sad.

So I'm not going to tell him. I'm going to lie out my uniform, suck it up and go to bed without the medicine. Go to bed with my own mind. I stood again and wandered to my closet, filled with the best clothes you can get anywhere in this town. I like to pride myself on my meticulous wardrobe, the ocd helps with that, but hey no one can have too many blazers and matching scarves. I grabbed the extent of my uniform and turned to face the opposite wall of the room, the reason I would never allow anyone in my room. On that wall we hundreds of pieces of paper from various magazines, newspaper, tickets, playbills, clothing tags, and everything you could imagine, tapped in one big collage on the wall. I never knew why I always felt the need to do that, but in a strange way its so satisfying and pleasant to tape everything I love to a feature in the room as prominent as a wall. It makes it feel my own, since I don't have much else to call my own it seems.

I climbed into bed and listened to Burt and Carole milling about downstairs talking about some small topic. I swallowed and pulled the cord on the lamp next to my bed, trying to shut my eyes as fast as possible. Now I was thinking about it. Thinking about it makes it worse. And sure enough as I opened my eyes I could see my dresser stretch and extend, looming over me, drawers warped into a sinister smile that leered down at me. My window expanded and darkened and my bedroom door stretched away from the, the rim of light around it fading as it grew farther and farther. I breathed, I knew it wasn't real, I was good at handling it by now, but no matter how used to it you are, it's still scary, really unsettling and scary. I tried to focus on other things, like the classes and people at my new school. My new school, Dalton academy, a school where I will be boarding and offered trips to Paris with the French class. It is also an all boy school, which I admit, _only _in my mind, I'm excited about, being gay, the idea of being surrounded by all guys all day isn't bad, though I'll miss the complex friendship of my girls.

With these thoughts pooling in my head, I was able to ignore my shape-shifting bedroom and drift off to sleep, subconsciously awaiting the abrupt awakening of my alarm clock.

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><p>Blaine:<p>

One. _**Nod**_. Two. Three. _**Tap**_. Four. Five. _**Nod**_. Six.

One. _**Nod**_. Two. Three. _**Tap**_. Four. Five. _**Nod**_. Six.

One. _**Nod**_. Two. Three. _**Tap**_. Four. Five. _**Nod**_. Six.

Yep.

One. _**Nod**_. _**Nod.**_ Two. Three. _**Tap**_. Four. Five. _**Nod**_. Six.

This is my life.

One. _**Nod**_. Two. Three. _**Tap**_. Four. Five. _**Nod**_. Six.

Six seconds.

One. _**Nod**_. Two. Three. _**Tap**_. _**Tap. Tap**_. Four. Five. _**Nod**_. Six.

Over and over an over again.

Hello, my name is Blaine Anderson.

One. _**Nod**_. Two. Three. _**Tap**_. Four. Five. _**Nod**_. Six.

I'm sorry.

One. _**Nod**_. Two. Three. _**Tap**_. Four. Five. _**Nod**_. Six.

Is that bothering you?

Because it's not bothering you,

One. _**Nod**_. Two. Three. _**Tap**_. Four. Five. _**Nod**_. Six.

_Nearly_ as much, as its bothering me.

That's Tourette syndrome.

One. _**Nod**_. Two. Three. _**Tap**_. Four. Five. _**Nod**_. Six.

And I do what it tells me.

Or else.

It gets better sometimes; it's not always this constant.

But I'm nervous. It's the first day of school.

One. _**Nod**_. Two. Three. _**Tap**_. Four. Five. _**Nod**_. Six.

I sighed and walked downstairs. Both of my parents are at work. I opened the second cabinet from the left, the one my mom keeps the coffee mugs in, and took out the pill container that had the morning and night of every day of the week. It's Wednesday morning. Lithium, risprodol, invaga, what aren't I taking? As long as it helps I suppose. The doctor told me I also had bipolar disorder. That made it fairly difficult to keep friends around, they always seemed to be mad at me, and I always seem to hate myself. That's why I was so nervous about school. There was really nothing more I could do though, so I grabbed my Blazer and walked out the door with my keys.


	2. Chapter 2

Blaine:

I walked into the Dalton common room as happily as I could, and smiled as David and Wes walked over.

"Hey hobbit." Wes said and poked my side playfully. I couldn't shake the moment of pain as he said it, but quickly pushed it away as I high fived the guys and looked around the room and students poured in.

"So how'd the rest of your summer go?" David asked as the three of them sat on an empty couch.

"It was fine, mostly boring I guess." I shrugged and looked back out to the mob of teen boys. David began rambling about some mountain he went to and Wes started commenting on his stupidity as someone Blaine didn't know stepped awkwardly into the mob, his crystal skin contrasting vastly against his dark blazer.

The boy looked lost and agitated at something in the corner. I looked to the corner, there didn't seem to be anything particularly bad about it. There was a fancy table with a plant on it, and a picture on the wall. Looking again, the picture was crooked, but I doubted that was why he was annoyed. I looked back at the boy who was still staring at the corner, until finally, he looked around him self consciously, walked over to the picture and straightened it.

I laughed to myself and was about to walk over to him when I felt David pulling me out of the room to our first class. English. Ew.

One. _**Nod**_. Two. Three. _**Tap**_. Four. Five. _**Nod**_. Six. I ticked and followed them out.

Kurt:

The room was full of people rushing by me in blurs, I still hadn't taken my medication and I continually felt dizzy. As I tried to steady myself, I found myself just outside the cluster of boys and facing a corner.

No.

In that corner was a frame with a very distinct tilt, bringing it out of line with the floor and table it hung above. It was like an insufferable itch I just couldn't scratch, like having a piece of corn stuck in your teeth that refuses to budge. I just stared. I had to do something, I had to.

After what felt like ages, I made sure no one was looking, walked up to the picture and aligned it perfectly, sighing as all of my troubles faded. The other students had started filing out of the room, so I decided to follow. I felt so alone in this place, there was no one here to talk to. I know it's hardly been a day, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd have no one.

French class was actually sort of fun. I didn't make any friends but the teacher seemed fun and we wouldn't be reviewing what I'd learned a hundred times before.

Now was math class. I tried to remember where it was as I walked down the hall. Everyone here seemed so perfect without any worries. I knew this was most likely far from the case, but no one appeared to have any problems at all. I supposed money did that. I entered the math room and looked around to see most of the desks already filled. I didn't want to sit alone again, and I spotted an empty seat next to a dark haired boy. I looked at him for a moment, every so often he would jerk his head in some direction and then continue reading the paper in front of him as if nothing had happened. I cautiously walked over to the boy and put my bag on the back of the empty chair next to him.

"Um, mind if I sit here?" I asked slowly. The boy looked up at me with surprise in his-sparkling golden hazel positively swimmable (that even a word?)-eyes.

"Oh yea, sure." He said and quickly went back to his paper. I shrugged and waited for the teacher to begin.

Blaine:

I stared at the dorm room assignment sheet intently as I tried to work out the best way to trade, not I really thought I'd need to this year. I was in a room with Wes and David was right next door with someone I didn't recognize the name of. We'd be so close we could hang out all the time there without the teachers knowing. I could even bring the big tv and some of the games and-

"Um, mind if I sit here?" I heard a gentle voice behind me.

"Oh yea sure," I said automatically before even looking up, when I did, I was met with the bluest eyes I'd ever seen. It was the boy from the common room who'd been angry at the corner. I looked at him for just a moment, at his pale yet perfect complexion, the loneliness in his eyes, and his slim yes muscular body. I looked away quickly to hide the blush I could feel coming. The boy just sat and waited, as did I.

After the teacher was about 8 minutes late, the boy glanced at my desk and saw the paper I was looking at previously.

"Is that the room assignments?" He asked.

"Oh yea, they didn't give them to everyone yet, here." I said too quickly and all but shoved the paper at him. Great, I already liked him and was making a fool of myself. The boy just laughed and looked it over. I felt my head and hand twitch again.

After he'd been looking at it for a moment I asked, "Who are you with? Do you know them?"

"Well, I don't actually know anyone here, but I'm with someone named David," He said pointing to David's name.

"Oh awesome, he's one of my best friends, and your room is right next to mine!" I said too excitedly. "I'm Blaine," I said reaching out my hand. He shook it.

"I'm Kurt." He said and smiled.

Just then the teacher walked in and silenced them all.

Kurt:

After math we were given a period to unpack our dorm rooms. I was really happy that I had at least met someone in this school, and he would be living right next to me, and he was really, really cute. No, I did not just think that last part. I'm here to learn…

I moved the last of my boxes into the room after introducing myself to David, and started putting a few things that I would need out. I then saw a curly dark head in bright pink sunglasses poke through our door. I laughed as Blaine walked in.

"Hey David!" He said throwing a duffle bag at him. Another boy came in behind him, I assumed this to be Wes judging by what David told me. "Hey Kurt." Blaine said more softly with a smile. I smiled back and could feel my face starting to burn, but it looked like his turned a bit pink too.

Behind Blaine I saw David and Wes exchange a glance and a smirk. I quickly looked away from Blaine and finished putting my stuff away. It was going to be a long first day.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N sorry for the wait! I love you all xD (also I fixed the tense issues, I had a hard time making up my mind in the last ones) Also this story will probably be fairly short, I'm not sure yet, let me know what you think.

Also, I begin with this,

"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart, I'll always be with you"

Yes, A Winnie the pooh quote, cause I'm sappy like that These will probably appear quite a bit in the story.

"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart, I'll always be with you"

Kurt:

It was the first night in our dorms, and I still had no medicine. I couldn't bring myself to ask my father. So I sat in bed trying to think of other things. When I was little, I started this thing where I would make up stories in my head, to take my mind off of anything unpleasant. The stories were fictional fairy tale like and honestly, pretty girly, but they're only in my head, so I didn't care.

So that's what I'm doing tonight. Making fairytales. About people falling in love and moving to Paris and living in a boat on the Seine. I couldn't however, shake the image of the handsome husband who resembled a certain dark haired boy who slept on the other side of this wall a bit too much.

With the stories, my mind is occupied and it's easier not to focus on the door that was slowly slipping further and further away, or the small wooden desk that was shrinking to the size of my foot. I knew perfectly well that none of this was actually happening, but you can really feel your body get larger or smaller, and sense real distance from the walls that slip away.

Closing your eyes doesn't help. You can still somehow feel the darkness growing or shrinking, and feel the gravitation change. Eyemasks do help. Being able to feel something that close to your face keeps it real. Unfortunately, I left my mask at home, so I just sat on the bed, hoping I wasn't freaking David out too badly. I closed my eyes and focused on the story in my head, laying back on the bed, I focused on the adorable man walking with their betrothed on the streets of Paris. Wait, I didn't say adorable, did I?

Blaine:

One. _**Nod**_. Two. Three. _**Tap**_. Four. Five. _**Nod**_. Six.

Tic's.

Those are fun.

No, not really.

Mine are fairly simple though. Mainly, I twitch my head in different directions, especially when I talk. People have made fun of me for that my whole life. Most adults just think I'm enthusiastic. Most kids just think I'm weird. Other than that, I tap my fingers compulsively and hum. I don't mean like humming a song, just a quick 'HMM', every few seconds.

Most people don't understand tic's. They think I'm just being annoying, or strange. But it's something you need to do. It's not really an option, and you usually don't even think about it. It's almost like when you have a song stuck in your head, and without thinking you find yourself singing it over and over again. Some tics however require thought; those are the most obnoxious ones.

The glowing clock on my nightstand read 11:28. Just perfect, I need to be tired the second day of school. I could hear noise coming from the other side of the wall. I remembered that that's where Kurt's bed was. By the squeaking of the bed and floor, I could hear him get up, walk around the room, and sit down again. He was up to, probably nervous I guessed.

I decided it was time to try and really get to sleep so I cleared my mind and laid back on the bed, focusing on breathing, and eventually fell asleep.

Kurt:

I had decided that second day, that I enjoyed Dalton. I now had Blaine, Wes, and David to talk to, and at least one of them were in almost all of my classes. Their were beautiful classrooms and in math, to my right there was a lovely view of Blai- I mean a fish pond. I got lost however, around 5th period, before art class. We didn't have art yesterday, because we were given this period to unpack the dorms. I walked down a promising looking hallway with painting hung along the fancy moldings. As I approached the first class room I decided it could be, I saw a flash of black, and I was on the ground, with something heavy on top of me.

I turned beat red as I saw that this heavy object was in fact Blaine. Of course, it had to be. He smiled and laughed, apologizing and helping me up.

"Going to art?" He asked and I nodded. He grabbed my hand and led me into the classroom. I couldn't help but be taken aback by the warm feeling of his hand in mine.

Blaine:

In art class, the teacher handed out paper and just told us all to draw something, since it was only the first day of class. I sat down next to Kurt and started to draw a guitar sitting against a piano. I'm not a very good artist however, so I just looked like a bunch of lines with a few traces of the instruments within. I looked to my right at what Kurt was drawing, ad my jaw dropped.

Kurt had drawn an impeccably detailed picture of a person in a flared button trench coat, patterned jeans and flat boots. The outfit was stunning, but more so than that, the picture was completely symmetrical. There was almost no difference in each side. It was incredible. Kurt saw me staring open mouthed, and looked down, blushing.

"That's amazing." I said finally.

"R-really? Thanks." He said and smiled. We continued working on our drawings in relative silence until the bell rang.

"What do you have now?" I asked him, secretly hoping.

"Lunch," He said, making a face, but mine lit up.

"Me too!" I shouted a bit too loudly. But he smiled and laughed, suggested that we sit together, and strolled out of the room, I supposed expecting me to follow.

Kurt:

I was fairly nervous as Blaine stared at my drawing. It was pretty ridiculous. Because of the OCD I had a tendency to make pictures unrealistically symmetrical. Drawing has always made me feel better, so I did it quite a lot. I felt better when Blaine told me it was good. I did notice though, that whenever Blaine spoke, he moved his head. It was actually kind of funny, but of course I'd never say anything like that. He also tapped a lot, which with the OCD drove me kind of crazy, but I never had many friends and I didn't want to ruin this one. I had also decided that I really, really liked Blaine. Which sort of sucked, because he probably wasn't gay and I could never have him and probably ruin our whole friendship.

I walked out of the classroom as he followed me to lunch. We sat at an empty table and he took out a sandwich while took out an apple.

"So how do you like Dalton?" He asked me.

"Oh, it's great, it's really pretty and everything. I honestly feel sort of out of place though." I admitted. He looked a bit shocked.

"Really? I wouldn't worry, you fit in great, maybe your just a bit better than everyone else," He joked. I laughed but blushed again. "What do you like to do besides draw?" I was a bit shocked by this question.

"Well, I like to sing I guess." His face lit up, and he grabbed my hand, pulling me up from the table.

"Me too! Come with me!" He said and pulled me down the hall.

Blaine:

I was a bit too excited that we had music in common, but I still wanted to show him. I pulled him into a deserted music room and sat at the piano.

"Lets sing something!" I said with a huge grin. He laughed.

"Like what?"

"Um, lets sing a Disney song!" I laughed at myself this time, and my ridiculous love for Disney. But he nodded, and I began the into to 'Go the Distance' from Hercules. He laughed this time but sang along with me. I found it fitting, we both seemed to be trying to find where we belonged.

He really had a beautiful voice too. It was high and clear and strong and our voices went together really well. I finished the ending and smiled up at him.

"Wow." We said together and laughed again.


	4. Chapter 4

Kurt:

The next week and a half went smoothly. I stayed with Blaine through most of it and Wes and David the rest. I also made a few other friends, but we didn't talk much outside of classes. Hanging out with Blaine was also a bit awkward because over the course of the week my silly crush on him had grown even more and I could hardly even look at him without blushing madly.

We would sit at the coffee shop down the street from Dalton and discuss the randomest things, from singing to alternative minimum taxes. I had also decided that Blaine was definitely gay. I determined this after he went on an eight and a half minute rant about how hot Daniel Radcliffe is. I laughed the entire time, agreeing in some spots, and pointing out how much better Tom Felton is in other spots.

The week went on like this, we developed inside jokes and could smile at each other from across the room knowingly. Nights had been good too. Not a lot of issues, David had even forgiven me for screaming and almost crying when he rearranged my post-it note board, making almost every one crooked and out of order. It pains me even to think about it now. Other than that, however, everything went well.

Blaine:

It was a fantastic week! Kurt was really cool and fun to be with, and I liked all of the time we spent together. He never looked at me strangely or made fun of my tics. I still didn't sleep well at night, I was too focused on the annoying movements my body forced me to do over and over. But it was better, especially when I thought about my new friend.

One day when we sat in our favorite coffee shop, I actually went into a rather fangirlish rant about Daniel Radcliffe. I was fairly embarrassed, but I got over it. If he didn't know I was gay before, he did now. I just kind of figured he was gay, he honestly just seemed gay. I knew it wasn't good to draw stereotypical conclusions but it was really just what I thought and would keep to myself.

My other favorite thing is when we would sit in the empty music room and just play and sing together. We had so much fun with ourselves. I had never really had a friend like him. People always thought I was weird, and if they didn't, I would explode at some point and they would stop talking to me. Wes and David were the only people who had really stayed my friends, but even they kept their distance.

We had English together, we had both agreed that our teacher had a bit of a crush on Charles Dickens, she would close her eyes and lick her lips every time we talked about him or read one of his passages. We would just look at each other and laugh. I think most of the class started to notice to, an before long, we were all laughing. The teacher got angry and assigned us a six page essay due the next day. We also had a big math exam that day. I looked to Kurt who looked shocked and frozen with wide-eyed fear. I touched his shoulder as the bell rang. He stood slowly and we walked to the door.

"You ok?" I asked and he nodded slowly.

"What are we going to do? I purposely left the perfect amount of time for normal homework and massive studying for this test!" Math wasn't Kurt's best subject, (not that he seemed to be bad at anything)

"It'll be ok, we'll work on it together." I said and smiled. He smiled too, and turned red a bit, he seemed really afraid of this essay.

Kurt:

That night, Blaine and I sat in my room. David was working on a science project with Wes, so he was gone anyway.

"So the protagonist is symbolic of duality with the antagonist in a short-lived theme of romance?" Blaine said as he typed something on his laptop. I just nodded tiredly. It was getting late, we were on page 5, and there was only one lamp on. I was also freaking out with anxiety, meaning the AIWS would probably start soon, and I didn't want Blaine to see that.

"It was a good idea to do math first." I said as I looked around the room nervously.

"Yea right? I figured this would take the longest anyway." I noticed that as it got later and later, Blaine's head movements became for frequent.

We worked for another ten minutes or so before Blaine decided he had to go back.

"Thank's for helping me." I said with a smile.

"Of course!" He said and left with his things. Just as he left it started to kick in. The room around me started to warp. I felt like an ant on my bed. I couldn't sleep like this, I was too nervous about the next day. I sat there for about twenty minutes, before getting up and pacing around the room.

Blaine:

With a smile on my face I went back into my room where Wes and David had fallen asleep on the ground. I laughed to myself and climbed into bed. I laid there for a while, thinking about the next day in my head, planning out every last bit for I knew I wouldn't sleep much anyway. At about midnight I heard Kurt get up and start to walk around the room next door. He seemed to just be walking in circles. He would walk, sit on the bed, then walk again. This went on for a while, and I decided that I'd better check on him.

I walked down to his door and knocked gently. After a minute he appeared and I tried not to gasp. He looked horrible. His hair was a mess, his eyes were red and wide and his fingers played nervously with the bottom of his shirt. I walked into the room.

"Kurt…what's the matter? Are you ok?" I asked hurriedly.

"I'm fine, just can't sleep, why are you still up?" He countered.

"I-well, I'm always up, find it kind of…hard to sleep I guess." I half admitted. Kurt looked concerned.

"M-me too." He said and sat on the bed, looking at his hands.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I said gently, sitting next to him.

"Do you?" He returned not looking at me. I crossed my legs and turned on the bed to face him, he was actually pretty beautiful, especially in the dim glow of the table lamp.

"I will if you'd like me too." I answered, braver than I thought I was. "Because Kurt, it's only been like two weeks, but you're kind of my best friend." Kurt nodded.

"You're my best friend Blaine."

"Alright, well first I guess, I have tourette Syndrome. Ever heard of that?" I said. Kurt nodded.

"Yea, you have tic's and stuff right? I kind of noticed how you twitch your head…" Kurt said gently and hung his head again.

"Exactly, so that and other things, it messes with my brain chemistry I guess, so I have a lot of issues sleeping at night."  
>"Oh, I didn't know that, I'm sorry." Kurt said and crossed his legs too, turning to face me and giving me a hug.<p>

"So what about you?" I asked, and Kurt looked down again.

"I have this…pretty messed up thing, it's called alice in wonderland syndrome." I just looked at him.

"That's real?" I asked and tried not to laugh.

"Yea." He laughed disgustedly. "It's like, well, in Alice in Wonderland when she keeps shrinking and growing and stuff. The whole room changes and it just gives you this really creepy feeling like you don't fit in your own skin. It makes it hard to sleep."

"Y-you have this all the time?" I looked at him incredulously, but she shook his head.

"Really only at night." He replied and I nodded.

"Can you take anything for it?" I asked and he nodded. "Are you?"

"Y-yea" He lied obviously, "It just hasn't been working I guess." I nodded and pulled him into a hug, his body was shaking the slightest bit.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I feel better when I have company." I smiled and pulled him down with me onto the bed. He laughed and tried to get away, but I locked my arms tighter around him and he eventually gave in and laid next to me on the pillow, my arms still around him. We just stayed there.

He fell asleep before me, but a shallow sleep that I knew he'd wake up from if I moved. It was then, looking at his peaceful form sleeping in my arms that I realized he was more than my best friend, I really liked him. Maybe a bit too much, I sort of loved him. Now, I knew I was jumping to conclusions. I'd only known him for two weeks, and I've never been in love, I don't know what it felt like. But I knew I wanted him to be mine, and I get what I want.

Kurt:

I woke up, shockingly, in Blaine's arms, I glanced first to the clock on the nightstand, it was about 2am. I groaned. I was screwed for the morning. I turned my head slightly to look at Blaine, who was looking back at me.

"Sorry did I wake you up?" I asked nervously.

"No…I kind of, never slept." He said tiredly and I turned in his grasp to face him.

"Aw I'm sorry." I said sadly, our faces only inches away from eachother.

"It's alright." He said with a tired laugh. "It's comfortable here." He said and we just looked at each other. I could feel myself turning red again. We were so close and he was just so adorable…and hot.

Before I really knew what was happening Blaine was getting closer to me and gently placed his lips on mine. My eyes widened and the butterflies in my stomach went wild. I could not believe that this was happening. Blaine started to pull away again, but I moved forward, forcing my lips back on his and moving them slowly. His lips were soft and delicious and eager. We stayed like that for a moment before Blaine pulled back.

"I'm sorry Kurt." He said and loosened his grip on me.

"D-don't be," I stuttered, and laid my head back down on the pillow. "We should try to sleep though." I said and Blaine nodded, wrapping his arms back around me with a smile, and snuggling his head into my shoulder.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N I'm sorry I take forever to update! Thank you everyone for reading this, it means a lot and I love you all, reviews are like school vacations. I'm not crazy about this chapter, but it's kind of cute. I LOVE YOU ALL.

Blaine:

I looked across the history room at Kurt sitting in the corner, paying attention to the professor. I however, was only paying attention to Kurt. When I woke up that morning, he was gone. I had first believed I'd been dreaming, but after a moment, Kurt walked out of the bathroom, blushed to his toes, and ran out of the room saying something about being late for class.

Now we're here, he's watching the board, and I'm watching him. Now, I'm Blaine freakin Anderson here. Blaine Anderson gets what he wants. And he's never wanted something quite this much.

I groaned inwardly and put my head in my hands. How had this so suddenly come on? As my stress increased, so did my tics, and my hands began to jerk and tap, as did my head. I was in the back of the room, so no one noticed, but it was getting unpleasant. I sighed again and decided to talk to him after class.

Kurt:

I glanced back at Blaine whose head was twitching rather amusingly, however I now knew why and found it in no way amusing. I blushed again and tried to hide my head from view and pretend to pay attention to the teacher. Why did he have to be so obnoxiously charming? I was pulled from my thoughts by the bell, and I quickly gathered my things in an attempt to leave the room ahead of Blaine, who would most likely want to talk about what had happened the night before. What had happened anyway?

My efforts failed however, as I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"Hey!" He said cheerily.

"…Hi." I replied.

"Um, listen Kurt, I'm just going to be pretty straight with you here I guess." He said nervously as I tried not laugh at his word choice. "I really like you, and I just want to at least be your friend, but, I understand if you feel awkward about yester day and…" Blaine continued talking, turning redder and blurting everything he'd been planning to say throughout class. However I'd stopped listening. Like a little fangirl I was staring at his lips, as they moved around every word, thinking about how they felt on my own last night, and how they whispered me into the best sleep I'd had in years. And before I knew it, without any thought or reason, I pulled his head up to mine and smashed my lips against his a bit too violently, and I thanked the gods that the teacher had left the room.

Blaine:

I can't say I wasn't surprised when I stood awkwardly in the history blurting out my feelings to Kurt when he started kissing me. I also can't say I wasn't happy. He had the best lips, and the best skin and hands and everything. I wrapped my arms around his back and pulled him in closer, moving my lips over his. He sighed and pulled back, blushing.

"Or…we could just keep doing that." I said with a smile. He laughed and blushed again.

The next two weeks continued like this. Kurt and I would sneak kisses in between classes when no one was looking and catch each other staring at the other in class. The best part was, David asked me to switch rooms! So Kurt and I shared a dorm, and fell asleep holding onto each other. We still hadn't really talked about it much though; I hadn't even asked him to be my boyfriend. However, that was what I was going to do today.

We sat in the Dalton coffee shop, Kurt was talking about….something that I couldn't quite pay attention to. So I decided to interrupt.

"Say, um Kurt," I began nervously. "I was just, that is that, um well." Say it Blaine, c'mon, just say Kurt will you officially go out with me, be my boyfriend, I friggin love you, anything. I gulped. "I'm uh…" Alright Blaine say something. "I'm going to get a tattoo!" I yelled and widened my eyes at the words that had come out of my mouth. Kurt held his coffee half way up to his mouth and stared at me.

"Um….that's different. I can't exactly say I think that's a good idea since we're so young, and I will go nowhere near any needles, but I'll go with you if you really want." Kurt replied, still eyeing me.

Well that's not what I expected. "Well what I meant was that um, ok."

"Don't you need parental consent?" He asked. Really? I'm going to get a tattoo and that's what he asks.

"Um not in Ohio." I don't even know why I know that. I don't know why I'm getting a tattoo, I've never even considered it. I'm just so confused.

Kurt: That day at the coffee shop was…unexpected. So I decided to fix it myself the next day. It was Sunday and we met at the counter in the same coffee shop. I had gotten there early and ordered and had a little talk with the girl at the counter. This would be cute and get the job done without permanent bodily imprinting.

Blaine walked up to the counter and pecked my lips. I smiled at him and his perfect yet adorable posture, it was absurd all the things I liked about him, maybe loved about him. The barista called out our names and put our cups down. I made sure to give Blaine the right one and made my way over to our usual table.

"Aw you know my coffee order?" He said with a touched smile.

"Of course." I replied, trying to hide my laugh. Then, as I knew he would, he spun the cup to check that the write drink was written on the side. His eyes grew for a moment as he read the words and I watched him cautiously.

On the side of the coffee cup I'd had the barista write, "Blaine Warbler will you please be my boyfriend" With a little heart. Blaine looked up at me.

"Of course I will Kurt." And with that he stood and kissed me full on the lips in the middle of the school coffee shop.

I'll update soon! Please review :3


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N hooray! Update! Kind of weird but I hope you enjoy….I apologize in advance for the starkid reference…**

**Kurt:**

"You're a moron."

"You like me anyway."

"I thought you were kidding about this."

"Yea but it kind of sounds fun now."

"This is the stupidest thing you could ever do."

"KURT!" Blaine yelled and I was momentarily shocked out of my anger. "Listen Kurt, you're my boyfriend now," I turned red and eyed him cautiously. "and I know this is kind of dumb, but I'd really like it if you were supportive." Blaine finished and I groaned.

"Fine, but it has to be small and concealable!"

"Okay!" Blaine said excitedly and went back over the counter to talk to the woman.

I looked around the run down tattoo parlor that I could not believe I was even in. I'd actually taken my medication, so the sloppy wall hangings and playboy magazines only bothered me slightly. It almost felt good.

After talking to the artist for a few minutes, Blaine bounced back over to me and lifted his right arm. On the inside of his upper arm in a fancy script was written, 'We can dance until we die'. "What do you think?" Blaine said excitedly.

"Wow that's...really gay…" I said and watched Blaine's face fall the tiniest bit. Then I laughed and pulled him face to mine. "It's great." I whisper and kiss him. Blaine pulled back and smiled at me.

"Alright then, do you want to come in with me?" he asked, his eyes pleading the tiniest bit.

"Wait, you're not done?" I asked, looking at the writing on his arm.

"No!" He laughed. "This is just temporary to see if I like it, now they're going to use the needles." I swooned a bit at the mention of needles, but nodded, taking his hand and following into the back room.

The woman giving Blaine his tattoo was nice enough, small framed with black and turquoise hair, big glasses and many questionable tattoos and piercings, just what you'd expect in a tattoo parlor. But I could see Blaine start to get uncomfortable. He started tapping more than usual, and he was clearly trying to restrain any unnecessary head motion. I grabbed his hand.

"Blaine, listen, you don't have to do this, it's okay if you want to just leave."

Blaine smiled at me, "No, I want to do this, just…hold my hand?"

I laughed and nodded, gripping the hand of his soon to be tattooed arm in an attempt to keep it still for the girl who was now nearing his skin with the buzzing needle.

**Blaine:**

I held Kurt's hand like my life depended on it as the random scene girl scraped the words permanently into my arm. I prayed tears not to form, and for my damned tics to just, go away, just for a little while. But I was going to do this, to prove to myself that I wasn't a total coward. Hell, I ran away from school and couldn't even ask the most awesome guy in the whole world to be my boyfriend. I hadn't even told my family outside of my parents that I was gay. So I accepted that I was a coward, but for once, I would do something brave…if not completely stupid like Kurt said.

Kurt:

About an hour later we stood in front of the tattoo parlor. Blaine had a goofy yet pained look on his face, at he marveled in pride at the new artwork on his arm. I still couldn't believe he'd actually done that. Never in a million years would I have. But in a way it was almost…hot. Well, everything about Blaine was kind of hot, or more like super mega foxy awesome hot.

We got in Blaine's expensive car and drove back to Dalton, and went up to our room.

I walked in behind Blaine as he stretched out on my bed. I laughed and curled up with my head on his chest, marveling at how much I loved this. I reached up and very gently ran my finger along the outside of the new tattoo on his arm, which he had already taken the plastic off of.

"I have to put like, soap on it…" he said tiredly. I laughed and nodded and walked to the bathroom, grabbing the new bottle of softsoap and going back over to him. With the gentlest touch I pumped the soap onto my finger and ran in along the expertly stitched words that meant so much to the boy I adored. I could never really judge him for this.

I wiped off my finger with a tissue and leaned in to kiss Blaine who eagerly pulled me into him, groaning lightly at the friction between us. I ran my hand down his back and pushed our middles together, causing both of us to exhale deeply. I was a bit shocked at myself, the little timid obsessive-compulsive boy who was now sucking face with the hot private school boy beneath me. Blaine pulled away then, both of our faces red and smiling. I nudged closer to him, holding him dearly, as he reached over and shut the light on the bedpost. I was slightly overtaken for just how much I cared for this boy.

**Blaine:**

The next few days were interesting. I was absolutely not allowed to have anything tattooed or pierced according to school regulations, but well, that ship sailed, so I spent most of my time trying to make sure I was always wearing long enough sleeves that covered to at least my elbows.

Any time I looked at Kurt, he'd just smile at me. We hadn't talked as much as we had before, mainly because of all the school work we were given. But this made the quite moments spent alone holding each other in our dorm even better. I realized that was what I liked the most. We didn't even need to talk, just being with him, holding him, smelling him, that was the best, and as tacky as that really was, I'd never felt that before, and was amazing. I'd never been able to feel this happy.

Sorry it's so short! Any ideas for what'll happen next?


	7. Chapter 7

OH MY GOSH. I cannot even believe how long it's been since I've updated. I'm so incredibly sorry and I couldn't love all of you more. I hope you enjoy this chapter, this story means a lot to me, feel free to talk to me, I shall respond, if I haven't in the past, I'm horrendously sorry. I will try to update soon I swear! I've been without inspiration for the duration of cockblocktober!

P.S. Don't hate me yet…

Kurt:

I stared bleary eyed at the boy across the room from me, and jerked my head to the side to see the broken desk lamp that lay askew in the corner. This was our first real fight, and I wasn't sure what to do. Blaine had gone a bit…well…psychotic. We had been talking about feelings and other rather embarrassing things, when a fight for no specific reason had broken out. Blaine had gotten upset when I'd commented jokingly at his poor manors to the lunch lady today, since he was usually so perfect. He'd tried to brush it off, but I supposed I had kept going, and now, Blaine was pissed.

"What is this really about Blaine?" I asked as calmly as I could. Blaine leered at me, his hands clenched and his eyes tearstained.

"Don't tell me how to live my life!" He said exasperatedly, and all I could do was stare in utter confusion as he grabbed his blazer and marched out of the dorm. I contemplated following him, but decided against it, he needed to cool off. I never really understood what went on in Blaine's head. Truthfully, I hardly knew anything about him at all. That's when I decided to do a bit of investigating.

I knew how low what I was doing was, but I just wanted to know, I wouldn't let any of this change my opinion of him. I started in his dresser, not really looking for anything in particular, but after a while of finding nothing but poorly folded socks, I aimed my search towards the bathroom, where I decided to open up Blaine's drawer in the medicine cabinet. I'd never gone in their before, I've never had a need to. When I opened it I was shocked. My drawer contained a toothbrush, a half-used bottle of toothpaste, cologne, and various moisturizing products. Blaine's drawer was filled with bottles upon bottles of small orange and yellow pill bottles. I stared in shock at the array, all types of drugs I had never heard of and had no idea what they meant, Lithium, Valium, Risperdal, Clonidine, what were these things? As I wondered I heard the door shut and Blaine walk in.

"Kurt?" He called softly. I dropped the bottle back into the drawer and sprinted out of the bathroom as casually as I could. Before I'd even stepped into our room Blaine's arms were around me and he was smiling into my shoulder. Wait, smiling? That was fast.

"Want to watch a movie?" He said sweetly. Whoa, that was an interesting shift, and now we're pretending it didn't happen? Something was off here, though I wasn't sure what.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - It was midnight, and Blaine was fast asleep in his bed, his arms wrapped around a pillow that I had replaced my body with. I sat on my bed, legs crossed, gazing at my computer screen. I had looked up several of the names printed weakly on the bottles in my boyfriend's drawer. They were all for various, well, mental disturbances, anxiety, muscle spasms, high blood pressure, bipolar (I guess that explains earlier), schizophrenia, ADHD, what the hell was Blaine dealing with? I gazed back over to him, sleeping peacefully in his bed. I shut my computer and walked back over to him, falling asleep instantly in his arms.

**Blaine:**

I woke up before Kurt and gently rolled him over so I could get up without waking him. I stretched and walked over to the window. It was sunny, but the trees bent in the breeze. I noticed Kurt's laptop on on his bed and decided to check the weather for the day. Upon opening it, however, I froze. There were pages and pages open on the medications Blaine took and various mental disorders he did and did not have. He stared and tried to sustain the confusion and rage he felt as his hand started twitching and tapping involuntarily.

Kurt stirred and sat up slowly, smiling and searching the room for Blaine until his eyes landed on Blaine's horrified look behind his computer…oh god, his computer.

"Blaine…" Kurt started but Blaine stood.

"No, just…just don't ok? Maybe there was a reason that you didn't have to know absolutely everything about me right away! Maybe I have to deal with this crap enough without everyone knowing and everyone silently judging me all the time! Maybe I told you all you needed to know and you should have trusted me and waited. Maybe there's a reason no one but you can go stand being with me for more than an hour at a time, and I didn't want to ruin that! Maybe…maybe…you should have just respected my privacy." Blaine blurted, switching between angry and sad as he spoke, pacing around the room, trying to contain the tears that threatened to fall. Kurt just remained sitting on Blaine's bed with his head down and tears silently falling onto his knees.

"Privacy? You're the one who decided to use _my_ laptop without asking!" Kurt yelled and instantly regretted it, slapping his hand over his mouth as he realized it was one of the worst things he could've said at that point.

Blaine was enraged now, he slammed Kurt's laptop, opened the diet coke bottle on Kurt's desk, and poured it onto the apple logo. Kurt yelled and jumped off Blaine's bed, but he just glared at Kurt and walked out of the room once more, slamming the door behind him.

**Kurt:**

Kurt knew what he had done was wrong to Blaine, but he still though he over reacted. Kurt held back his tears as he took the damp paper towel and gently scrubbed off the sticky diet coke residue, praising whoever was up there that Blaine had closed the computer first. Kurt also knew now that this wasn't Blaine, and it wasn't his fault. He had a lot to deal with.

Kurt sighed. It was getting dark out now, they had gone through they're entire class day not speaking or looking at each other, Kurt spending the whole day worrying about the computer he had not had time to look at if he didn't want to be late to class again. Now Kurt was distressed. He's refused to take any of his own medication, but he weakly got into his bed and shut the light off. Blaine was still not back. The cord of the ceiling fan swung ever so slightly from the airflow of the room in general, but Kurt couldn't take his eyes off of it. Back and forth like a knife cutting into his eyes each time. Then the cord began to shrink and Kurt knew he was screwed. "Why tonight?" He whispered, wondering out loud. He heard Blaine shuffle into the room quietly and go directly to his bed. Kurt ignored him. Then the rest of the room joined in, mocking him as the moldings shape shifted and the door spread farther and farther away from him. He could feel himself changing too, meaning that this would be one of the worse nights. He spread his arms away from his body the sensation dimming a bit when his skin wasn't touching. Then he sunk into his pillow and began to cry, as softly as he could. He was over whelmed and couldn't handle it right now. He heard nothing from the other side of the room, but was startled when he felt his bed sink down and two arms wrap around him, easing the agitation of what he was feeling. And then Blaine's face was at his, kissing the tears away, Kurt just latched onto Blaine and sobbed all of his feelings out onto Blaine's shoulder.

**I LOVE YOU ALL, ps, first of all, schools don't let students keep baskets of drugs in their rooms, they have to be held at the nurses office, however, in this story, they don't, maybe its Ohio laws or something, all I know is, in ny, that wouldn't happen, but oh well, it needed it for the story :P**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you all again so much for liking this story! It means a lot. Um, a few notes, first, I know this story is pretty fast-paced, but I tried to do that to show a sense of how kurt/blaine's mind is working. Second, this story is from Kurt's pov more than Blaines, mainly because the things Blaine does are all based off of experience, and I'm truthfully not sure what was going on in their head, so trying to write could fail. Third, OC INTRODUCTION, sorry guys, but I need this, maybe you'll like her? alrighty.**

**Also, feel free to just talk to me hah, we can be friends, I promise, xD I'll even tell you my (not-so) secret tumblr, sooo yea! TRY NOT TO GET MAD AT BLAINE!**

Just like that, that night was never spoken of again. I wanted to talk about it. Learn what Blaine had to deal with so that we could be ok and maybe I could help him. But Blaine wanted to pretend it never happened. I finally let it and we went on with our lives. I loved Blaine, I loved being with Blaine and kissing Blaine, it was the best feeling for me, but something continued to nag me about not knowing anything about him.

We still had little issues. Blaine's mood swings were less often, but more violent. Now I knew that it really wasn't his fault though. We kept going though, working to get through any hardships, we had even set up a system of cleaning and eating in our dorm room so that it didn't get too messy with all the time we spent on school work.

One morning, Blaine was getting ready for his oceans class field trip. They were going to a marine zoo, since Ohio is so landlocked. Blaine was getting ready in the bathroom. I could hear the opening and closing of pill containers and him mutter, "shit" and fumble around. I wanted to make sure everything was ok, but I didn't want him to be mad again. Blaine came out of the bathroom, looking more exasperated than annoyed, and started putting on his uniform.

"Blaine, you didn't do your job last night." I said as I gathered my books.

"My job?" He responded.

"Yea, you had to fold the clothes, and take our garbage to the janitor hall." I responded, stopping to look at him.

"Oh," was his only response.

"Well…are you going to do it?" I asked, trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice.

"You don't have to be mean to me." Blaine said icily. I just stared at him, floored once again. I looked down and breathed deeply.

"I wasn't being mean honey," I tried, but Blaine stood instead.

"You don't have to be a patronizing dick either." He said with a stab to my chest, leaving the room with his bag and slamming the door behind him once again. I sat on my bed and once again willed tears not to form. Because I was angry, more angry than sad.

I went to my first two classes that day, before saying I was sick, and going back to my room. It wasn't a lie. I did feel sick. Something peculiar happened though. While in my room, I heard a knock on our door. No one ever knocked. They yelled at us or just walked in. So I tentatively went over and opened the door. Revealing a short girl with olive skin, dark curly hair, and a sad smile.

"Hi Kurt."

I stared at her. Who was this girl, and why did she know me? I didn't know her, did I? "You don't know me," She began, instantly answering one of my questions. "I'm Reese. I'm Blaine's sister." Now it made sense. Blaine had, in fact, mentioned he had a little sister once. That was really all Kurt knew about Blaine's family.

"Hi! Come in, Blaine….isn't here right now." Kurt tried to hide his sadness, but Reese put a hand on his shoulder.

"Let's sit."

So Reese and I sat by the window with mugs of coffee from the little coffee maker we'd hid in the corner of the room. "So, I think it's amazing, what you have with Blaine." She began. I had agreed to just letting her talk for a while. "Blaine never had many close friends, let alone a boyfriend. Anyone who got close for too long, got scared away. My parents…they don't even really talk to him anymore…that's why he's here. They couldn't deal with it anymore. Up until now, really I've been his only true friend." She said looking down with a sad smile. "It isn't easy either. All of his frustration and anger he has at the world, and himself, it got directed at me. Because he knew I would love him unconditionally, so he lashed out, all the time. But I love him, and he's my brother, and…" She smiled. "He tells me about you all the time." She finished and I blushed.

"I…I love him." I said quietly and her smile brightened.

"Good, because he deserves it, I just hope you don't get scared off. Oh, but anyway. I'm here because he got very upset this morning and was texting me, saying this about killing himself." She said, unsettlingly calmly. My jaw dropped and I jumped out of my chair. "Don't worry, don't worry! He won't, he just, says those things, usually when he doesn't take his medicine at some point in the day, so I came to bring him refills," She said, holding up a plastic pharmacy bag. I nodded and tried to get the air back into my lungs.

She went to work cutting pills and refilling the array of capsules in Blaine's drawer. When she was done, she smiled at me. "So what's wrong?" She asked. I sighed, "Nothing, Blaine got really mad this morning, he called me a dick, and it honestly just upset me, that he'd call me anything mean I guess." She put a hand on my shoulder again. "He didn't take his medicine, he didn't mean it." I nodded, I understood. "I have to go now, It was nice meeting you. Here's my number if you want to talk about it sometime, we can commiserate." She said, writing down her number, and walking out of the room.

It was about dinnertime, so I decided to walk down to the dining hall to try and eat something. I sat at a table alone for a while, pushing chicken around on my plate, before getting up and starting back for my room.

When I walked in, I was amazed. Blaine was there, and had gathered what looked like every candle at Dalton, lit them and stood in the middle of the room with a blue gerbera daisy in one hand. I put my palm to my mouth, gasping.

"I'm so sorry Kurt." He said weakly. "I…I love you, and I'm an idiot."

I caved then, I smiled and crossed the room and kissed him with more passion than I thought I could muster. It dawned on me then. None of this would make sense and none of it would ever be fair. But we would make it work, and in the end, it would be worth it to have each other.

**NYAAAA TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK, what are your reactions to the chapter, or the disorders, any questions or predictions? LEMME KNOW PEOPLE x3333333**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hiya, this is officially the longest I've ever taken to update, IM SORRY, Im going to blame it on my lack of reviews, talk to me people! It takes three seconds to leave a review x3 anywayy, I hope you enjoy this one, you should also all go read my other story 'this old town' It's more exciting and smuttier xD I'm still honestly working on an official direction for this story soo yea ** _**chapter may trigger, just a warning.**_

K

I stared up at the ceiling of our room. Blaine's arms were tight around me and I sighed as the images before my eyes shifted effortlessly as the familiar, yet unsettling feeling churned in my gut. I was so done with this nonsense. The only thing I could do was take the medication that made me tired so I could sleep and not think about it, but it wasn't worth it, it was dumb, it was nothing compared to the battles Blaine fought with his mind everyday. Blaine still got angry. When Blaine got angry, he was mean. I sensed improvement however. Our arguments were becoming less and less frequent. Reese had taught me all of Blaine's medicine, and I helped everyday to ensure Blaine took enough of each one. Blaine secretly appreciated it, I could tell. We were better, we were doing well, that is until disaster struck.

B

I slowly crept around the room, picking up all the scattered laundry and tossing it into the basket while humming to myself. I had to meet Kurt downstairs in ten minutes for lunch, but before that I wanted to make our room spotless. Kurt was so much happier when the room was clean. When even the slightest thing was off, I noticed how Kurt would shift uncomfortably until he eventually fixed it. I wanted Kurt to be happy, I wanted him to smile, he'd been helping me so much lately. When the last of the dust was gone and the laundry folded, I started downstairs for my lunch with Kurt. However, I didn't enjoy what I saw. Kurt was sitting with that other kid, Nick, who was a bit too close to him. Nick's face was inches from Kurt's and he was looking at Kurt hungrily. Kurt was just laughing and smiling, not having any problem with Nick's "friendliness". Kurt turned and saw me staring, unconsciously moving away from Nick and waving to me. Instead of going over, I ran. I ran back to our room in a fit of pointless jealousy over something that was probably nothing. I ran back to our room and shut the door and sat on my bed with my knees curled to my chest. The door opened softly and Kurt stepped in.

"What just happened?" He asked, clearly trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice. I didn't answer. "Blaine!" He tried again, "What is your issue that you ran away?" I sighed and looked at the wall.

"You were very _cozy_ with Nick today." I said and mentally slapped myself. Kurt just stared at me, awestruck.

"I can't even believe this." He said dryly.

"So you don't even deny it!" I yelled and jumped up.

"You're being stupid!"

"At least I'm honest!"

"I'm not honest now?"

"Apparently not!"

"I'm done." He said with finality and little emotion. I stopped and stared at him bitterly.

"W-what?" I said softly, trying to keep the hysteria out of my voice.

"I'm done with you! I can't take this anymore! It's Saturday, and I'm going home and I don't want to see you again until I have to on Monday, when you'll be sleeping in your own bed alone." He said icily, grabbing his bag from the chair and storming out of the room.

I remained where I was. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be. Why? Why am I such a freakin' moron? I just say these horrible things, things that don't even make sense to me, they just come out. And now it caused me to lose the greatest thing in my life. I wasn't sure what to do. I sat there on the bed, swimming in my own agony and emotional pain for hours and hours, until the sun had long past set, until I could no longer thin logically at all whatsoever, until my mind came up with a better thing to do.

K

It felt good to be with my family again. Even if my heart was tearing in my chest, it was nice to sit with the people I loved and at least pretend to laugh. I hadn't told anyone about what happened with Blaine, I didn't want to think about it now. I did my best to take my mind off of him, but I couldn't help but worry if he was okay, I mean, I had just left him there. My father was retelling his heroic tale of the time he had rescued the bird that had flown into the window, when my phone rang. I took my phone out and curiously read Blaine's sisters name on the screen. I excused myself and answered in private.

"Hi-"

"Something's wrong with Blaine." Came the response quickly.

"W-what do you mean?" I asked, silently panicking.

"When was the last time you saw him Kurt?" She asked, he voice racing.

"Um, y-yesterday morning, Reese, what's going on? W-we had a fight and I left…"

"He didn't call me, he calls me every Sunday morning exactly at 7, and he didn't today, so I called him-nine times-and he's not answering, he's never not answered when it was me. Kurt, I'm in Denver, I can't go check on him, something isn't right here. Please at least try to reach him, If you can, god, please go check on him. I'm worried Kurt."

"Calm down honey, calm down." I said though my own heart was racing. "I'm leaving now."

"Oh thank you, thank you Kurt, please call me as soon as you know." We said our goodbyes and I gave my family some lame excuse before sprinting to my car and all but speeding back to Dalton. On the way there, I thought of every possible scenario that could have caused Blaine to ignore his sister. He was probably just really mad at him, or his phone had died. It didn't matter at this point anymore though, Iraced through the Dalton dorm to their room, where I gulped and opened the door, jumping into the room. No one was there.

"Blaine?" I asked cautiously.

The bathroom door was open a creak, so I slipped over and knocked softly. When no reply came I pushed the door open to make sure he wasn't ignoring me. He wasn't. What was in the bathroom was the most horrible sight I'd even seen. I dropped to my knees. Blaine lay strewn out on the bathroom floor surrounded by a puddle of his own blood.  
>"No…no, no, no" I whispered continuously to myself. I started to scream hoping anyone would hear and come help. I grabbed Blaine into my arms not even thinking about it and began to sob as I screamed for help. I tremblingly took out my phone while still holding Blaine and dialed 911, screaming into it that I needed help, trying my best to explain the situation I didn't understand as my brain reeled. The woman on the other end was saying things. Saying help was coming. Saying something. I had stopped listening when I saw Blaine's arms, the blood was coming out of what seemed like hundreds of gashed cut in perfect rows down his forearms. I couldn't even process the thought. Blaine had done this to himself. Blaine had done this to himself because of me. This was my fault.<p>

"BLAINE!" I shouted miserably and the room began to spin and mine and Blaine's head collided with the tile floor. I heard voices in the distance coming closer before everything turned to blackness.

**Holy hell do you all hate me? I promise I'll try to update soon, (reviews=encouragement hinthint?) xD I'm sorry for the cliffhanger, I love you all, and I plan on ending this story happily. I love the response this story had, and reviews are like crack, also go check out my other story, I LOVE YOU ALL AGAIN, happy new year! **


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